putting children on leashes

by Theresa 

Recently, I saw a woman in New York holding her dog on one leash and her child on the other. Did I mention she was talking on her cell phone? Just picture it.

For some reason, this sight produced an intense soul-searching for me. Well… not really. But it did make me consider the implications for toddler-tethers.

CON

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Two words. Psychological damage. From an early age, you are given an inferiority complex because guess what? Mommy puts you and Fido on leashes; ergo you and Fido are equals. Next thing you know, you mistakenly crawl into the doghouse for sleepy time, only to remember that, wait, despite being touted about in broad daylight on a leash, you are, in fact, a human being (albeit a mini one).

Not to mention the fact that you are raised feeling restricted, lacking all independence. You wore a harness to walk outside. No free rein for this tot. Want to go check out that butterfly? Nope, leash is too short. Oooh penny! Oh wait, Mommy is tugging you along and you can’t stop to pick up the little copper treasure. Basically, unlike when free-range toddlers get to walk about on their own (under darling parent’s watchful guidance, of course), you aren’t even given the semblance of independence.

Now I can hear what you’re about to say. But wait, toddlers don’t have the power of reason. They don’t get that they are being reduced to the level of puppies and even cats for those free-thinking (read: weird) people who walk their feline friends. BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN THE CHILD GROWS UP?

Fast forward a few years, and you are casually flipping through a photo album. Ohhh, I remember that beret. I was so cute. Omg, 4^th birthday party, Despicable Me theme for the win. OH WAIT, SWEET BABY JESUS, ARE YOU HOLDING ME ON A LEASH??? Mooooooooooooom.

Yeah.

There’s a treasured piece of your childhood. Watching Mom talk on the cell and hold a Nordstrom’s shopping bag while you look silly on a leash. Or Dad sitting on the couch watching the Orioles beat the Red Sox, and oh look, there’s you in the corner. On a leash.

Also, isn’t it a safety hazard?

Free hands (bereft of the burden of a stroller to push or the weight of their child) mean distractions. Talking on the phone. Holding shopping bags. Listening to your iPod. Meanwhile the parent is thinking, oh it’s okay because dear Todd is on a leash. He’ll be safe. MEANWHILE, Todd has stretched to the full capacity of the leash, just in harm’s way. Bam. Danger.

Not to mention, the child could get tangled up in the leash, or wrap other people up in leash. (Picture the common scenario of two dog owners wrapped up in each other’s leashes, except this won’t create the awkward but adorable meeting scene between the two owners in 101 Dalmatians, but just the awkward scenario of… oh wait. That is actually a kid. My bad.)

Do your kid a favor and save him thousands of dollars in therapy: invest in a stroller.

PRO

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Little Todd is driving you crazy. When he’s in the stroller, he wiggles. And twitches. And squirms. He’s got the energy of an overachiever on Red Bull. But what can you do? You have errands to run, places to go, people to see. You love that Todd is inquisitive but you don’t have the time to take him out of the stroller and monitor him.

Solution? Leash.

On the leash, Todd has just enough freedom to prance around, casually observing the world around him. Ooooh, butterfly. OOOOH, gum on the sidewalk. He gets to work off his energy WITHOUT wearing you thin. Not to mention, he’s so tired that he goes right down for his nap. He gets to explore and wander, in a controlled, supervised setting. Plus, he practices trotting about, running, and jumping so much that he might just be a track star one day. Who knows. 

Plus, when you don’t have to push a stroller, or bounce Todd on your hip, you have free hands! You can make those important calls, hold the bags of groceries you’ve purchased to make a lovely meal for your family, and make Todd happy.

Besides, he doesn’t know what a leash is, so he feels like he has free rein too, without getting in harm’s way. He gets to feel the confidence of striding forth into the world, nothing holding him back. (Little does he know, there actually IS something holding him back and you are right behind him, keeping him safe.) Todd becomes a capable, independent human being all because you decided to create the false illusion of freedom.

Do you want Todd to be a successful, confident track star one day? Invest in the leash!