miley cyrus: we should've known

And here is a brief history of the evolution of Miley Cyrus as expressed through song. 

by Kristina and Theresa 

1. "See You Again": I have a heart that will never be tamed. 

Well, we can't say she didn't warn us. But on her debut album, Miley still had the innocence of a preteen Disney princess. This was the type of inoffensive, albeit vacuous, jam that you could safely play in front of little kids. 

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2. "Fly on the Wall": A creepy little, sneaky little fly on the wall. 

Ummmm this is officially when things started getting weird for Miley. No one is sure where she got the idea for this song, but it seems eerily like a drug-induced bout of paranoia. Perhaps it came to her in a dream from the future? 

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3. "The Climb": There's a voice inside my head saying you'll never reach it. 

Hearing voices are we, Miley? Well, that's never a good sign. Some people thought this song was just about the struggle of a young Disney socialite.The more aware of us recognized this as a desperate plea for help. And so began the declime (heh) of Miley Cyrus.

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4. "Party in the USA": My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick, too much pressure and I'm nervous. 

This upbeat view of 'Murica was all a ruse for the deteriorating mental state of Hannah Montana. Everyone knows listening to a song by Jay-Z, or BritBrit, will not make everything better. 

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5. "Can't Be Tamed": I can get a bit crazy, have to get my way, yep, 24 hours a day, 'cause I'm hot like that. 

Uhhh, all aboard the train to sloot town. More importantly, this song raised a lot of pressing philosophical issues. Why is Miley in a cage? Who is trying to tame her? Why is she a bird? Aren't we all just massive black feather creatures forced into writing on the ground in a cage for entertainment?.... Nope, not really. 

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Anddddd finally. When it all came together and fell apart. 

6. "We Can't Stop": To my home girls here with the big butt, shaking it like we at a strip club. 

Maybe Miley can't stop, but the rest of us sure as hell wish she would. This song is a sloot train wreck. Like, she was well on her way to Sloot Town, but then the train crashed and it all got a little weird, and now there's teddy bears (see the video. Nightmares). We want to look away but we just can't. 

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