PRO
by Kristina
Hey. Want to know what’s cool about having a beautiful
relationship with a good friend and falling even more deeply in love with them
only to break-up in the worst possible way and have to remove them from your
life for the rest of your time here on earth? Oh yea…
NOTHING.
That is the (basically) inevitable reality that you face
when you try to risk everything and break out of the friend zone. In all the
bullshit songs and movies written about this situation, the moral is always
something like, “Yeah babe, it didn’t work out and we basically hate each other
now and our friends can’t hang out, but like…the ride, bro. The ride was worth
it.”
…..………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
………..WTF.
It’s not a popular opinion, but let’s be real. The friend
zone is the better deal. You never need to worry about how you look, how you
sound, if he thinks you smell bad, because you’re friends, and you love each
other and it’s all good. There’s no pressure, no weirdness, no stress. You get
to enjoy each other’s company without the drama that comes from “Defining The
Relationship.”
Also, when you’re friends with someone, I think you get a
more realistic sense of who they truly are. Maybe he’s awesome with you, but
actually a jackass to most of the biddies he dates. Maybe she’s gorgeous, but
not very ambitious. Maybe you two get into arguments about the smallest social
and political things because you have fundamentally different views. These are
all things that get obscured by the famous “honeymoon” period in a
relationship.
Undeniably the best part of the friend zone though is that
this person is in your life indefinitely (unless of course you really, really
blow it). You can call them no matter what, and listen to them whenever they
need you. You can laugh and cry and share everything with each other, and never
have to worry about some impending break-up.
So if you’re finding yourself in this situation
I say kick back, throw on a pair of sweats, and drink a damn beer because you
got the best seat in the house.
CON
by Theresa
You meet a nice boy. You spend time together. You fall in
love. You live happily ever after. Sounds like a beautiful love story, right?
Maybe even a fairy tale? WRONG.
Because guess what. You fell in love with him, but he didn’t
fall in love with you. You, my friend, have been the victim of the friendzone.
They are sneaky little bastards, those friendzones, because
they have all the trappings of a love story at first. You “click” with someone,
you simply adore spending time together, perhaps you’re even madly attracted to
him, but, alas, you are both “supposedly” committed and happy being “just
friends.” Bull.
The friendzone is a bugger much like a bad flu. You never
see it coming, you’re perfectly fine one day and then the next you might wake
up feeling slightly nauseous with a pounding headache. That’s when you’ll know.
You have been friendzoned.
You will NOT be riding off into the sunset together, but you
might hit up some McD’s or go to an amusement park together. So there’s your
consolation prize.
If I haven’t made it perfectly clear, friendzones suck. They
are the antipathy of happiness and wellbeing. When trapped in a friendzone, you
become even closer to the object of your love and affection. But it’s like
putting your hand on the glass at the aquarium. You can see it, it’s right in
front of you, but you’re not allowed to touch the dolphins. Didn’t you read the
sign?
And by that, I mean metaphorical signs. This, again, is why
friendzones are so tricky. What you might take to be a sign of romantic
affection is actually just a “hey champ, I think you’re swell!”
So tread carefully when it comes to friendzones, because
they are like a game of Capture the Flag. You are in the “safe zone” of the
opposing team. You’re safe at the moment, but you’re also not winning the game.
You have the flag in your hands, but that’s not enough. To win, you have to
take a risk. You have to venture beyond the safe zone. But that means one of
two things. Either you sprint past the obstacles (other people) and cross the
line triumphantly to your eternal glory and bliss ORRR (and this is the more
likely outcome) you get tagged. And sent to jail, i.e. breakup Siberia .
Basically, you can really screw up your friendship. You can
screw up whatever you had going with this person, and perhaps ruin the chance
of ever becoming romantically involved.
But that’s just it. A friendzone is a perpetual mind game—is
it worth it to risk it? Or should I just stay put and appreciate what I have?
Have you seen Inception?
A friendzone basically does that with your brain. But forever. Not just the
standard 24 hours after viewing the movie.
I’m just saying, do whatever you can to avoid a friendzone.
Avoid it like the plague. If there was an immunization shot for it, I would
highly recommend it. But there isn’t… so fare as best you can.
If you are in a friendzone, I sympathize wholeheartedly.
Everyone falls victim at some point. Unfortunately, it is NOT like the chicken pox—
You don’t just get it once and be done with it. Chances are, it’s going to
happen more than once. It’s one of those diseases, like ear infections, where
once you’ve got it, chances are, you’ll get it even more in the future.
So stock up on your medicine of choice. I personally
opt for Fudge Brownie Ben & Jerry’s and movies like The Switch, Just Friends or
Made of Honor. It gives me unfounded
and ill-advised optimism to watch the tales of victory of those who managed to
navigate the stormy waters and emerge healthy and happy from their bout with
the perfidious foe. But that’s only in the mythical land of Hollywood
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