all's fair in love and war ;)

PRO

by Theresa 

via

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Okay, so maybe in an ideal world we wouldn't have to agonize over what each text means, play hard to get, or make people jealous because everyone would ride off into the sunset on rainbow ponies perfectly in love and happy.

But the truth is, that’s not the way the world works. We need games in our life. They keeps things fresh, interesting, challenging, and help us get what we want.

We have been trained to like games since we were children. Our parents shamelessly used them to get what they wanted. I mean, who didn't suffer vroom vroom here comes the airplane delivering the broccoli? Or the quiet game? (Also known as the STFU game.)

It goes beyond that. Not to get all high-brow on you, but in Aristophanes’ Lysistrata, the women withheld sex to end the war with Sparta and guess what happens. The war ends and everybody is happy (for the most part). So maybe you can’t relate to the whole end-a-war thing, but you can certainly relate to trying to keep someone interested or keep them around.

Relationships are prime territory for games. They also keep you from seeming too desperate. I mean why was the “text 3 hours later” rule invented? It was to keep us weak mortals from responding, “Yes the movies sound great! Also, I love you.” Nobody wants that. Much better to play it off with a casual, “yeah, sounds good.”

Or how about making someone jealous? Every relationship kinda hits that awkward rut of “I still love you but this isn't that fun anymore.” A little harmless jealousy goes miles in rekindling that spark and bringing the element of spontaneity! Not childish, childlike.

It all comes down to who you want to be in the relationship. Do you want to be Ginnifer Goodwin in He’s Just Not that Into You? No! Everyone thinks she is annoying and desperate. When does the somewhat attractive bartender dude realize he is in love with her? WHEN SHE STOPS SHOWING INTEREST! Bam. She hooked him.

Or how about in Gossip Girl? Serena and Blair are the Queens of playing games. No, really, I think in one episode they actually get crowned with Swarovski-encrusted tiaras. They also rule the Upper East Side. Coincidence? I think not. Also, they manage between the two of them to date every eligible and desirous bachelor in what seems to be all of Manhattan. They manipulate, lie, and coerce their way to the top of the metaphorical relationship food chain. Now, I am not saying you should necessarily employ all of those tactics, but do what you gotta do.

I know you hardcore idealists out there are saying that you don’t need games if you have true love. False. We’re humans, we get bored. Cinderella runs away from the Prince (granted, she had a pretty good excuse) but she was the queen of playing hard to get. Did I mention she does become Queen at the end? We like the excitement, the “he loves me, he loves me not,” the flutter of nervous anticipation. Don’t let that die just because you have gotten settled and let your once burning flame of love burn out into a still comfortable glow. If you’re not careful, the fire might just go out altogether.

Maybe psychological manipulation isn’t your thing, but don’t knock it til you've tried it.

CON

by Kristina 

via

Literally nowhere else in life is it acceptable to play these types of games. A few examples:

· At work, if you play “hard to get,” you also start playing “unemployed.” Less fun.
· When the bartender asks you want you want, you can’t be all like, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” because he’s gonna be all like “Bitch is crazy,” and you’re not gonna get your drink. Losing situation.
· When you get pulled over for speeding, you can’t bring up a bunch of other police officers to make the one asking for your registration jealous. I mean, you could, I guess, but they’ll probably put you in handcuffs and open an investigation into your criminal record.

I’m not trying to be all philosophical here, but if you can only reasonably do something in one area of your life, chances are it’s probably kinda f—d up.

Maybe I’m just bitter because me flirting is about as seductive as a nerdy white guy trying to twerk, but I really just don’t get it. Why is it not okay to just show you like someone? Now, I’m not saying you need to go all crazy-town and paint their face on your body, but when someone texts you why do you feel like you need to wait 4.7 hours until you oh-so-casually text them back? I gotta tell you guys, I’m over it. I think there’s something to be said for someone who is not afraid of showing their true feelings.

The other thing about games? EVERYONE KNOWS YOU’RE PLAYING THEM. My “Hmm I’m pretty booked on Saturday, what about next Friday?” really means “I need you to think I’m busy and desirable you hot piece of man meat,” and he knows it. We both know it. So why not just get to the good part? Say yes to dinner and drinks, have an awesome time, fall in love, and forget about the mind-ninja crap.